Saturday, February 6, 2010

Yeah, I guess I was feeling a little sorry for myself when after a few errands, I couldn't walk anymore and felt sick. Jim went in the store for groceries. So yeah, I guess I was feeling sorry for myself and also guilty for not being able to help. I started thinking of all the things I miss such as going for walks. I miss being the one who helped other people with their groceries, not the other way around. I miss being able to walk, just plain and simply walk. Everywhere I looked as I sat in the truck waiting, and feeling guilty for not helping, I saw people walking, walking, walking together and talking, yeah, I will admit I sat there and cried. I cried with the loss I felt. It just kind of overwhelmed me. And I thought, "Okay, Lord, what are you trying to show me here?" I was pleasantly shocked that I had that thought because while I have been working on my relationship with God, I was a little happily surprised I thought that. Anway, I thought that and Jim's face was in my mind. All I know is I saw his sweet face. Here I was feeling so sorry for myself and all set to tell him when he got back how sad I felt, and how I can't walk, blah, blah, blah...and then I realized, I have a great guy here. As I looked around, I realized he had left the truck running so I wouldn't get cold and he had turned the radio on. He is amazing and wonderful. That is what matters here. I felt a great sense of peace come over me and I thought, okay, "I get it. I get it." By the time Jim returned I had pulled myself together. He was very happy about his superbowl food and all he was going to cook which I thought was cute.
There are times when I lose my balance and if my Mom happens to be standing there, she grabs my back pantloop and walks behind me. This has always made me laugh hysterically, right then and there. I can be bent over and in pain and that will make me laugh every time. So as Jim helped me to the couch, he grabbed my back pant loop and held them up and we were both were laughing hystercially. We are learning not to take things so seriously. It's just a process I guess. I like that I am able to get to the positive side of things much quicker than I used to. It is all good!